


Shackled to You

by fallfromgraceonmyface92



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Apathy, Betrayal, Cheating, Cheating Castiel, Consensual Infidelity, Depression, Domestic, Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Felon!Cas, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Lies, Love Triangles, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Nymphomania, Oral Sex, Partner Betrayal, Past Infidelity, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sex Addiction, Sex addict!Dean, Sexting, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide Attempt, The Pizza Man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:19:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3897823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallfromgraceonmyface92/pseuds/fallfromgraceonmyface92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been 6 months since Dean Winchester has seen Castiel Novak and he has no desire to, until one day, Dean learns of Castiel's recent release from jail. Dean finds himself beside himself with confusion as to what he intends to do.<br/>Castiel has reached out to Dean the entirety of his jail sentence, only to be ignored. With that Castiel deems to change his life and learn to leave Dean behind but his plans are ripped from beneath his feet when he receives a message.<br/>This story is not a fairy tale, nor is it a horror story. It's based on real life and the fact that sometimes to love another person can hurt much more than being alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, my intent with this fic was to make Dean and Cas as relatable as possible, while maintaining their character. Loosely based on true events. Stay tuned.

"Cas is out."

Dean hardly registered that the words had left his mouth as he glanced, pointedly, at his phone. For a moment, he was unsure that Sam had heard over the childish squabbles of his two oldest children, but he raised his eyes from the jar of baby food from which he was spooning strained peas into little Robby's drooling mouth. His face showed a mixture of dread and excitement but Dean could almost see him push both emotions away as he asked in a neutral tone, "how do you know?"

Dean unlocked his phone and glared down at it with renewed vigor.

"He liked a thing on my thing."

Sam rolled his eyes and smirked, "you're still friggin' facebook friends with the guy?"

Dean flushed but indignantly replied, "well, no but it was a public post."

Sam sniggered while using Robby's bib to wipe a bit of greenish spittle from the child's chubby chin, "okay, so what do you intend to do about it?"

The question left Dean at a loss for words. It was an understatement to say that he and Cas had history. It was a mixed bag of affection, deceit and flat-out betrayal on both ends before Dean's unhappiness with where their relationship was headed had pushed him into a state of indifference and wandering.

In the end Dean had abandoned Cas for what should have never been more than a one night stand and it was something Dean had come to deeply regret for a multitude of reasons. Just weeks later after many failed attempts for simple friendship and a final half-asleep sexual encounter, Cas landed his butt in jail. Again.

Remembering the night filled Dean's mind with renewed horror. Cas had told Dean that he'd met some people, in the town where Dean was working in a shop. One guy in particular, Dean had advised Cas to stay from but his heartache fresh, Cas had ignored Dean's advice and less than a week later, after hours of radio silence from Cas, Dean received a string of text messages.

The long and short of it was, in his depression, Cas and this random assortment of townies procured a couple bags of pot, which in and of itself was out of character for Cas, in Dean's eyes. They then drove to what they believed to be a secluded enough spot to partake in their purchase. Shortly after, a police cruiser spotted them and upon suspicion, asked Cas and the others to step out of the car. The guy Dean had warned Cas of proceeded to admit to the drugs in the car, then turned to point at Cas a distance away and place blame. The police took this without argument.

It was minutes later that Dean received texts from Cas, in the back of a police car. Explaining. Apologizing. Telling him he loved him. Though he'd never admit it, Dean had cried himself to sleep that night.

Cas called him those first few weeks and Dean was happy to hear his voice, at first but then inexplicably, Dean grew angry but also realized the pit of indifference inside him was not slaked. He resented Cas for a multitude of reasons, most prominent was for making Dean feel like he was to blame for his incarceration though Cas never said the words. Dean stopped answering the phone. Eventually the calls stopped, too.

Then the letters started. They were not begging for forgiveness or for Dean to be with him but pleas for companionship. Cas said he was completely alone but even when Sam read the letters and told Dean that Cas had seemed so contrite he, himself, was considering returning his coorespondence, Dean balled of up the letters and envelopes and tossed them in the trash, not even sure why he read them in the first place.

He still heard rumors, of course. He knew that the date of Cas' release had been approaching and every time someone would mention the man, Dean would clam up and express a strong distaste for him.

Yeah, you could say Dean and Cas had history, alright.

'Apparently,' Dean thought, 'today is the day.' His mind was suddenly at war with itself, between revoltion and eagerness to see the dark haired man. 'What do I intend to do about it?' Dean asked himself internally.

He recalled one letter in particular from just a month before. The last one that made its way to him.

"If you choose not reply, this will the last you'll hear from me. Now or ever," it had said in Cas' neat, scrawled handwriting.

He had no doubt that Cas meant what he'd said but despite the the prevalent line in his head, eagerness won out and Dean knew he had to see him.

Before he could change his mind, Dean composed a quick greeting, sent it to Cas and waited anxiously.

He stared vacantly towards the darkened screen of his cell phone as Jess left to walk Jonathan and Marian to their bus stop.

And as Sam put baby Robby down for his nap.

And even later, when Sam excused himself to catch some winks of his own.

As the hours passed Dean carried on, normally; eating a lunch of leftover pizza and a slice of peach pie, searching the 'help wanted' ads in the local paper and reading some of a book Sam had downloaded on to his phone for him. Still, it plagued him in his mind. 'Cas must be ignoring me,' Dean thought with resignation. Dean knew he deserved the brush off but it still hurt. He knew it was stupid to care or hope or try to believe that things had changed between them but it was a compulsion he couldn't resist.

Around dinner time, Dean thought, 'screw it,' and allowed himself to sink back into his chasm of apathy, yet again as he helped Jess dish out meals to those in the household with enough teeth to chew solid food. It was working. As he worked on his cheeseburger, surrounded by his brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephews, he felt at peace.

Just as he was scraping the last bits of pie filling from his plate, his phone gave the telltale chirp of a message received. Sam and Jess looked up expectantly from their nearly finished dinner, as his forked still, then dropped to his plate with a clatter. Even the kids were silent. Dean guessed maybe they had all sensed his tension and anxiety. He stood, his chair scraping awkwardly across the floor and retrieved his phone from where it lay, discarded on the kitchen counter. As he unlocked the screen, he released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

He had one message.

"Hello, Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean visits Garth in an attempt to wait for Cas.  
> Dean and Cas "reunite" after 6 months.  
> Dean feels guilty about his absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's taken so long to post. The response to this fic has been extremely encouraging. Thank you! Desperately looking for a beta to proofread, vocabulary switches and make minor edits, if you're interested please, please inbox me. Grammar Nazis welcome.  
> Next chapter should be up in the next few days.  
> Stay tuned!

 

 

" _Can I see you_?" Dean quickly typed and pushed send.

" _Not right now. I'm busy, Dean_ ," Cas replied after a moment. Dean strained for an answer, as Sam and Jess stared up at him with expectation.

" _Later, then_?" he sent it, with dwindling hope.

" _Maybe. Probably not but maybe_ ," Cas' message said, simply.

That was how Dean found himself behind the wheel of his Baby, his only possession and point of pride, besides Sam. He wracked his brain for a way to kill some time. Admittedly, Dean had become a bit of a hermit in the last few months since his slip at work, resulting in his termination, so friends were in short supply, not that they had ever been exactly plentiful. It hit him, then and he rushed to dial his phone.

He found himself in Lawrence, parked in front of Garth and Chuck's shared apartment. He reluctantly slipped from the Impala's sunwarmed, leather seat, locking the door behind him. As he made his way up the back door of their small one bedroom domicile, Garth flew out the door and pulled Dean into a tight hug. Dean rolled his eye but smiled despite himself as Garth pulled back to hold him at arms length.

"About time you stopped by, stranger!" Garth exclaimed a smile contorting his thin face. He lead Dean inside the cramped space, gesturing grandly as though displaying a vast museum or art gallery instead of his cluttered, yet homey shared living space.

"Where's Chuck?" Dean asked noting the telltale evidence of Chuck's residence, in the form of cheeseburger wrappers and beer bottles scattered on the, otherwise clean, kitchen counter.

"Upstairs getting dressed for his shift at the Waffle, tonight," Garth told him with a shrug before veering off to the right into their small living room. Dean gave him a skeptical look as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

"Writing hasn't been exactly the lucrative business Chuck thought it would be," Garth said grabbing a remote to turn on the overtly large flat screen, mounted to the wall.

He grabbed two game controllers and offered one to Dean, who snorted, "Nah, I'll take a beer if ya got one though."

Garth smiled his friendliest smile and stood on his spindly legs to head to the kitchen. As Garth disappeared around the corner, Dean pulled his cell from his pocket and unlocked the screen. His notifications remained as empty as when he'd left Sam's and he sighed. Garth returned with a beer and each hand and passed one to Dean as he moved to take his place on the couch.

"Well, if you don't wanna play PS3," Garth began, "Do you wanna watch a movie? I got Lord of the Rings on DVD." Dean chuckled at that.

"What?" Garth asked before taking a sip of his beer, with a wince.

"God, between the video games, your alcohol tolerance, the nerd crap and sharing a bed with your _roommate_ ," Dean started, shaking with laughter, "I don't know how you keep the ladies off you."

Garth glared at him a moment before retorting, "screw you, we only share it in shifts!" At this Dean literally slapped his knee as he roared with hilarity. Garth flicked his bottle cap, thwacking Dean in the forehead. Dean's smile dropped and he pointed a menacing glare in Garth's direction.

"Well, do you wanna watch it or not?" Garth asked with a wry grin. Dean rolled his eyes, yet again and begrudgingly nodded.

xXx

  


" _Seriously,_ " Dean protested, sitting his beer bottle on the table, "Frodo and Sam are so gay for each other."

"No, no, no," Garth retorted indignantly, his words slurring with his 3rd beer, "they're _partners_!"

Dean chortled, "yeah, _life_ partners is more like it."

Garth frowned for a moment  before clarity shown in his previously glazed eyes, "That's what you're doing in Lawrence!"

Dean gaped at his accusation.

"You're hoping to see Castiel!" Garth added with a drunken smile. Dean felt his ears redden, leave it to him to have a Freudian slip.

He stared for a moment before giving a singular nod. Garth slapped him on the back, to Dean's dismay.

"H-how did you know?" Dean stuttered as gawked at his boots.

"Small town," Garth said with a hiccup, "news travels fast and you've barely been in Lawrence in months."

Dean could not argue but felt no need to confirm it. Instead, he pulled his phone from the chest pocket of his flannel and unlocked.

" _Are you home?_ " he sent to Castiel. Garth just watched him for a bit, before his eyelids began to flutter and droop. Dean knew his time was running out.

His phone chirped in his hand and he nearly jumped in the silence.

" _Yeah,"_  Dean read, " _Just got here_."

He quickly typed back, " _Can I come over_?"

He tapped his foot as he waited. A minute passed, then two as Garth began to snore at the end of the couch.

Finally, his phone trilled.

" _Okay_ ," Cas' message read. Dean smiled in defiance of himself and hopped to his feet, his bowed legs on pins and needles from lack of circulation. He shook Garth awake and let him know he was going. Garth barely responded and Dean let himself out.

XxX

Dean pulled up in front of Balthazar's house, parking a distance away from the yellowed street light and sent Cas a text letting him know that he'd arrived. Already Dean's palms were a bit sweaty. He wiped them on his jeans before gazing intently at the blue trimmed house. A few minutes later, he watched at trench-coated figure step outside. He let himself out of his Baby and came to stand against her hood. As Cas approached, Dean fought the urge to open his arms to him. Before he could process what that meant, Cas was leaned against the Impala, his blue eyes taking Dean in, despite the poor lighting.

Dean took the opportunity to do the same and the stared at each other in near darkness. Cas' hair was cut shorter than Dean was used to and his face was speckled with dark stubble. The most notable difference was in Cas' demeanor, his usually confident front was gone, replaced by a solitary, distant frown.

"Hey, Cas," Dean greeted him, almost shyly, a small smile on his lips.

"H-hello, Dean," Cas spoke, his gravelly voice showing signs of nervousness.

"Long time, no see," Dean muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah," Cas agreed before lapsing into awkward silence.

"H-how are you?" Dean asked earnestly. At this Cas grinned, to Dean's surprise.

"I'm actually _really_ good," Cas declared. His words struck Dean as odd and filled him with an unknown sense of discomfort, "Balthazar and Gabriel have been a great help to me."

"How's that?" Dean queried, inquisitively.

"Well for one thing," Cas began, looking more like himself by the moment, "Balthazar has informed me I can stay here until January and I find a place of my own and Gabriel gave me a car and some cash to run on while I seek employment." He nodded at the silver Cavalier parked a distance away. Dean smiled surely.

"That's great, Cas," Dean accented, before inquiring, "what have you been up to all day?"

Castiel's smile broadened as he informed Dean, "I've been spending time with Hannah, she began to write me during my incarceration."

Dean's face dropped into a grimace and he winced at Cas' reminder of his lack of contact.

"C-Cas," Dean stuttered, "I know I should have written but-"

"Dean," Cas interrupted, "it's... cool."

He gave an uncharacteristic eye roll, as he tested the word. Dean sensed it was anything but cool. Dean, though, was still glad for his interruption, knowing he had no particularly good reason for his lack of correspondence.

"So," Dean started, grasping for words, "Hannah, huh?"

Cas' unsettling smile returned as he said, "yes, I believe she likes me, Dean. We may began a romantic entanglement, soon."

Dean's heart dropped into his stomach at Cas' formal terminology and everything it entailed.

Dean became suddenly aware of the early November chill and looked back at his baby, pulling his flannel tighter around him.

"Hey," Dean gestured behind him, "it's a little cold, wanna get in?"

Cas suddenly looked nervous, again before giving a nod, frowning a little. He and Dean let themselves inside and Dean turned the key in the ignition before turning the radio to a low volume. When he turned to Cas, he looked startled.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean requested with concern.

Cas looked around the darkened Impala, his eyes like saucers.

"Yes," he nearly whispered, "I'm okay. Just a lot of memories."

Many occurrences flooded Dean's mind, some good but most prominent was the day that Dean told Cas it was over. He flushed, thankful for the darkness.

He directed a soft gaze at Cas, "yeah, sure is."

xXx

At first, conversation had been stunted and clipped between the former lovers but soon it was flowing between the two, as though a day hadn't seperated them, let alone six months. Dean glanced at his watch, squinting in the dark. He realized it was now 3 in the morning. Sleepiness hit him then as he and Cas lapsed into a nearly comfortable silence. Before he could stop, he found himself scooting over to prop his head on Cas' broad shoulder. Cas tensed beside him.

"Should I-" Dean started, beginning to move away before Cas grabbed his wrist pulling him back into place.

"No," Cas said, his gravelly voice somewhat pained, "stay."

The words held such hope and promise that Dean's mind began to swirl. Cas turned his face into Dean's light brown hair, before inhaling deeply, like scenting a springtime flower. His outward breath was shaky and tickled Dean's scalp. He pressed his lips to Dean's hair then and kissed the top of his head. Dean shuttered with sensitivity at the unexpected gesture. Then as if beyond his control kissed his temple, then his cheekbone.

Dean turned to look up at him. Cas took his face gently but urgently in his hands. His blue eyes pierced Dean's green, searching. They held eye contact for a moment before Cas placed a chaste, deliberate kiss on the very corner of Dean's mouth. Dean found himself breathless as Cas released him. It was Cas' turn to shutter then, struggling to regain control of himself.

"I-it's getting pretty late, Cas," Dean declared, "I probably ought to head back to Sam's."

Cas seemed both relieved and sad as he said, "that's probably best. I need some sleep."

He pulled Dean into a tight hug then.

"Be careful, Dean," Cas demanded as he clutched him.

Dean couldn't tell if he was referring to the drive home or with him.

"Of course," Dean muttered into the dark-haired man's shoulder. Cas let go and moved to exit the Impala.

"Good bye, Dean," Cas said with a raised hand as he stood to close the door. Dean nodded and turn the key fully, to start his Baby.

He pulled away then, he breath leaving him in sharp gasps and as he turned down the road to head back to Sam's, his mind was hurricane of confusion.

Despite that, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Dean remembered Cas' pale lips pressed to the corner of of his lips as he gunned it down the highway. He had known that in spite of everything that happened, he still wanted Cas. Now, he knew... Cas wanted him, too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas comes over for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it took a bit longer to finish this chapter because work and blahblahblah... a bunch of other excuses you don't want to hear. Anyways, I'm not feeling very confident about this chapter so please drop by the comments and let me know what you think, if ya feel like it. Criticism is welcome. Still desperately seeking a beta. Please inbox me on here or message my on my tumblr: omgsupernaturalgreendaygaystuff.tumblr.com  
> The chapter contains explicit material, aka: Sex!  
> Mood Music:  
> Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows  
> I Believe in a Thing Called Love - The Darkness  
> Stray Heart - Green Day  
> Makeout Party - Green Day  
> Somewhere Only We Know - Keane  
> Enjoy!

Dean popped his head into the doorway of the kitchen, where Jess stood at the island, browning what seemed to Dean to be about 18 pounds of hamburger. Sam sat beside his two oldest children, a pair of reading glasses hanging low on his nose, reading a case file. Dean cleared his throat in an obvious manner, as Robby kicked his way around the hardwood in his walker. Sam and Jess looked up expectantly at the interruption, while the older children maintained focus on their homework, as was the house rules.

"Cas is coming over for dinner," Dean coughed, straightening to lean against the door frame. 

He wasn't sure what he was expecting but it wasn't the overtly joyful grin on Jess's face, nor the conspiratorial chuff from Sam.

"Okay," Jess said, beaming brighter than the evening sun through the windows of the breakfast nook, "have him pick up another pack of taco shells."

Dean rolled his eyes, not without affection and nodded before excusing himself back to his room, in a frenzy.

He knew there was a chance Cas wouldn't even step foot in 'his' room but nonetheless, he shook his head at the state of disarray he'd allowed it to fall into. His bedside table was covered with beer cans and food wrappers, his small tv set was brownish-grey from months of undisturbed dust and the floor... well, at that level of clutter, he wasn't sure it could be called such anymore. It was with a sigh that he made his way into the kitchen to grab a plastic trash bag and some rags before delving into the mess, only breaking to text Cas Jessica's request.

He finished in just enough time to drag the shamefully heavy bag to the bin at the curb outside before he glimpsed Castiel's silver Cavalier slowing to turn into the driveway, the sun winking of the windshield. He seemed to be waiting for Dean to reach the house before stepping from the vehicle, himself. He got out, a grocery bag clutched in one hand and his car keys in the other. Dean's heart began to pound as he looked Cas over. It was the first time he had seen Cas under the light of the sun in months, and it suited him.

Cas was dressed in his trademark trench coat but underneath, he wore a slim fitting white tee and dark blue jeans. A couple days worth of stubble speckled his cheeks and his dark hair blew, even more disheveled by the wind. Castiel's expression was one of softened apprehension and stifled desire. Dean wasn't sure how to proceed so he walked inside the gate and waved for Cas to follow. From the moment they stepped onto the porch, Marian and Jonathan launched themselves from the kitchen door and latched on to each arm, squealing, "Uncle Cas!"

Dean felt himself flush as he held the door open. Castiel carried a child by each bicep and Dean made no move to correct the children. Sam stood from the kitchen table, pulled his reading glasses off and pointed a broad smile at Cas, who was ushering the children onto the floor. He took a few steps towards Sam and held out a hand to shake. Sam looked down at his outstretch hand and snorted before pulling Cas into what seemed to be a bone crushing hug.

Cas stood unmoving for a moment before reciprocating in kind. Once they pulled back, Sam held him at arms length by the shoulders, looking him over.

"You look great, Cas." Dean's moose of a brother told him enthusiastically before adding, "Healthy."

Cas smirked genuinely, "Three square meals a day will do that to you."

Jess was close behind and hugged Cas around the neck, tightly.

"Jess," Cas complimented earnestly, when they pulled away, "you're beautiful, as always."

Dean's sister-in-law blushed before turning to Dean and mouthing, "He's a keeper!"

Dean couldn't help but chuckle and he felt his heart quicken at the comment. Cas fit amongst his family well.

XxX

Dinner was a complete success. Conversation flowed easily in the midst of the group, as though Cas had never left. Jessica's cooking was impeccable and Cas had attention to spare for each person at the table, asking for updates on lives of everyone involved. Marian and Jonathan told Cas about school and their extracurricular activities, Sam told him a bit about the latest defense case he was working (speaking in terms that flew clear over Dean's head) and Jess introduced him to the new addition to the family, with whom she'd been 9 months pregnant with when Cas was incarcerated. Once finished with his tacos, Cas took Robby into his arms and cooed down at the baby, as the child gripped his finger tightly.

"He's already very strong," Cas remarked with amusement, "much like his father and uncle."

At that Sam gave Dean a very pointed smirk, to which Dean rolled his eyes in exasperation.

-

Shortly after dinner, Sam explained to Dean that he and Jess were taking the kids for ice cream in town and would likely be gone awhile. When he received a disbelieving stare from Dean, he quickly added that it was to celebrate the oldest children's good behavior reports from school. Dean didn't truly take it as gospel but shrugged and said goodbye to his family as they piled out the door, leaving he and Cas alone.

Without the noise of the children and conversation the air grew thick with tension. Dean looked to Cas, who avoided eye contact as he scratched the back of his neck. Dean cleared his throat and stood suddenly, gesturing for Cas to follow, stopping to grab a couple beers from the fridge. When they reached Dean's room, which was now as pristine as it was going to get, he became aware of the complete lack of chairs. He glanced at his bed but grimaced, memories licking his brain like fire. He gestured for Cas to take the computer chair at his desk and plopped down on the ground. Cas sat rigidly as Dean handed a beer up to him before opening his own.

"I'm not actually supposed to drink, Dean." Cas reminded him but opened it nonetheless, placing the discarded cap on the desk. Dean took a swig of his own before catching Castiel's gaze in his own. What he saw there was complete wary apprehension.

"What's on your mind, Cas?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow, "Talk to me."

Cas sighed and took a sip from his bottle, "Honestly, Dean, I'm wondering what you're up to."

Dean sat up straight then, his mouth agape, "W-what the hell do you mean?"

"You invited me to dinner, Sam and the others disappear and now, it's just us two and you seem to be attempting to get me intoxicated," Cas disclosed, plainly.

Dean scowled up at him and sputtered, "First off, if you're implying I sent Sam and them away, you're wrong. And I'm not trying to get you drunk!"

Cas looked chastened and became very interested in his shoes.

"Then why did you invite me, Dean?" Castiel inquired, wiping rivulets of condensation onto his jeans.

Dean considered lying but shook the thought off and opted for the truth, "What would you say if I told you I had made a mistake leaving you?"

Castiel looked abashed and was silent for a moment before crying out, "I'd say, 'Damn it, Dean!' "

Despite his expectation of this reaction, his ego shriveled and died within him, "W-why?"

"Why?" Cas yawped, "Why?! Dean, you got over me by getting under someone else and I was not given the same liberty. I was forced to mourn our relationship alone in a cell for 6 months and just when I'm beginning to move on you pull this crap on me."

Dean flinched away from Castiel's outburst and took a deep tug from his beer, "It's called a misjudgement, Cas. If you remember, it's a concept you're familiar with. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Cas huffed and sat his beer down, "How did you expect this would go? That I would throw myself at your feet and just believe your whim on principle?"

Dean's face reddened, "It's not a friggin' whim and of course I don't expect you to take my word for it. It'd take time and we'd have to learn to trust each other and I'd have to prove myself."

Dean frowned in vexation and let himself lay back upon the floor, his knees bent, keeping his feet against the carpet.

"You're putting me in an awkward position, Dean." Castiel stated, his voice suddenly strained.

He rolled his eyes, "I know, Cas. Forget I mentioned it."

Without warning, Cas was above him, his hips pressed against Dean's pelvis. His gravelly voice was thick as he muttered, "That's not not what I meant Dean. I meant presenting yourself to me, in the very fashion we used to make love." Dean swallowed and met Castiel's hooded scrutiny. Castiel's gentle hand slid tentatively up his thigh, heat seeping into Dean's skin through his jeans. Abruptly, arousal was pooling in Dean's stomach like melted butter.

Cas' lips clashed against his then. Not waiting for acceptance, Castiel's tongue was in his mouth wrestling with his. Dean came alive beneath him, giving as much as he was getting. Castiel's hands were suddenly everywhere. Underneath Dean's shirt they stroked his chest and ribs before gently tweaking his nipples. Dean shuddered with pleasure and pulled Cas flush against him. Castiel's desire was made clear by his erection against Dean's, grinding roughly through their jeans. All of the sudden, Dean's clothes felt like a great burden.

He turbulently pulled Castiel's trench coat off of him. Cas matched his impatience, pulling Dean's cotton T-shirt off, discarding it carelessly. They followed this pattern, quickly removing articles of each other's clothing until they were both bare as the day they were born. Castiel kissed Dean's mouth languidly before taking the opportunity to make his way down his body, trailing kisses as he went. Dean shivered with pleasure and anticipation as Cas paused to suck upon his sensitive hip bone. Dean was already panting when Cas wrapped his pale lips around the head of his cock. 

Dean's eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy as Castiel's warm tongue flicked across the underside of his erection. He took more of Dean into his mouth, eliciting a heady groan from Dean. He set forth in a well established pace as though he'd memorized just how Dean liked to be sucked. After a few moments, Dean was a wreck of indulgence before he became painfully aware of the absence of Castiel's hot mouth. A whine escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"Lube," Cas demanded, "where is it?"

Dean pointed helplessly to the desk behind Cas. Cas ripped the drawer open and dug fervently in it before coming away with the bottle. He opened the lip and squeezed a liberal amount onto his fingers. Suddenly his finger was pressed against Dean's perineum, before easing in the tip, leaving him gasping. Cas smiled down on him with gratification showing in his blue eyes. Cas wasted no time, pushing deeper inside him, before slipping another inside. He stroked Dean's insides in a come-hither motion as Dean moaned and squirmed. Precum dribbled out of the head of Dean's dick as Cas began to scissor him open, his fingers slick with lubrication. Instinctively, Dean tried to fuck himself down on his fingers, only to be stopped by an iron grip on his hip.

"I think you're ready." Cas speculated darkly, "Are you ready, Dean?"

Dean nodded enthusiastically and to his embarrassment whimpered. Cas stroked the rest the lube onto his ridged cock and positioned himself between Dean's thighs. Cas, it seemed, couldn't wait any longer and pushed himself into Dean's hole. Dean bit his lip as the head slipped in, with pain and pleasure. He'd had a few one night stands in Castiel's absence but all of them had been with women.

"Dean," Cas crooned, with his eyes shut tight, "you're so tight." He slowly pushed himself in, to the hilt, Dean gasping and uttering his name the whole way. Cas paused and his lusty stare fixed on Dean's face. That was all the warning he got before Cas pulled back and slammed into him full force. Dean cried out and his blunt nails dug into Cas' shoulders. Cas set forth in a brutalizing rhythm. Dean realized then that Cas was releasing 6 months of pent-up sexual aggression. Cas lowered himself, his chest pressed against Dean's and smothered his mouth in urgent kisses, still pounding into him.

Cas continued for several minutes, never letting up. His mouth found Dean's shoulder and locked down, sucking a purple bruise into the freckled skin. Dean's body betrayed him as he all but screamed Castiel's name, repeatedly. In some distant realm of consciousness, he acknowledged that his bedroom lay completely open and that Sam and company could return at any moment. But he couldn't surface, from the extreme titillation he was feeling, long enough to care. 

Moans ripped from Dean's chest without command as Cas found that sweet spot inside him and relentlessly pressed it in each merciless stroke. Dean couldn't seem to catch his breath as pressure built inside him, pushing him to the breaking point.

"C-Cas," he cried desperately, "Cas, I'm gonna cum."

Cas smiled viciously before quickening his pace, hitting Dean's prostate, again and again.

"Cum for me, Dean," Cas commanded.

Dean came apart at his words, indecipherable words pouring from his lips as he came against he and Cas' stomachs, twitching with each spurt. His vision whited out and the world around him was merely background noise to the symphony of touch and sound that was this moment. As he tightened around him, Cas groaned and cursed as he continued his rough rhythm.

"D-Dean!" he shouted and stilled momentarily before Dean's name and delicious groans fell from his mouth as his release filled Dean up, sending him into another burst of spasms. He collapsed on top of Dean then, breath heaving from his chest.

xXx

Dean laid with his arms folded under his head. He was reclined against his pillows in his boxers, watching as Castiel pulled on his pants, hurriedly. He had a look of guilt adorning his stubbled face. Dean wanted to worry but he was too sated to think about it.

"Cas," he began, his voice slurred and sleepy, "what are you gonna do about Hannah?"

Cas squinted and frown, buttoning his pants, "I suppose I'll tell her the truth of what happened tonight."

Dean smirked before asking, "how do ya think she'll take it?"

Cas leveled a petulant glare in his direction, "I hardly think she'll take it well, Dean but she'll be okay."

Cas pulled his shirt on and reached down to pick up his rumpled trench coat.

"I have to go, Dean," Cas declared, pulling his arms through the sleeves.

Dean shook his head in disbelief, "but we just-"

"I know, Dean," Castiel interrupted, "I have to continue my search of employment in the morning and at some point make time to speak with Hannah. I'm sorry."

Dean felt himself sag into the mattress, his eyes dropping to stare at his crossed ankles. Cas came to stand beside him though Dean made no move to acknowledge him. Castiel grabbed Dean by his prominent chin and forced him to meet his blue eyes, which were softened with affection and remorse. His pale lips found Dean's frowning mouth and kissed him lingeringly. Despite himself, Dean melted into it as Cas licked slowly into his mouth before pulling away.

He caressed Dean's cheek then, an earnest look in his eyes.

"I do love you, Dean," Cas confirmed, kissing him chastely before letting his hand fall away.

Dean couldn't help but feel there was a 'but' somewhere in that but Cas let it hang unspoken in the air. Cas left the room, wordlessly, sparing Dean one more broken, close-mouthed smile before he stepped through the threshold. Dean sat in silence, listening as Cas left though the kitchen door. He sighed and turned on his side, reaching up to flip the light off. He wasn't sure whether to feel hopeful or used.

'Cas isn't the type to use someone for sex,' one part of Dean's mind insisted.

'Even after 6 months in jail and what you did to him?' a darker, sinister part of him retorted.

'Shut up!' He told himself gravely, before wondering if he was losing his mind. For now, he decided, he would opt for hope.


End file.
